“The grief process is about not only mourning the loss, but getting to know yourself as a different person”.Ĥ0. People will tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel and how you should and shouldn’t grieve.
Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays will be hard forever.ģ8. “You lose yourself, your identity, meaning, purpose, values, your trust”.ģ7. Grief triggers are everywhere – you will see things that remind you of your loved one all over the place, and it may lead to sudden outbursts of emotion.ģ6. When people offer support, take them up on it.ģ5. If you aren’t happy with the funeral you had, have another memorial service later.ġ1. You will plan the funeral while in a haze. Death and grief make people uncomfortable, so be prepared for awkward encounters.ġ0. “Death is not an emergency – there is always time to step back and take a moment to say goodbye”ĩ. “There will be pressure from others to move on, even minutes or hours after a death, and this can lead to regrets”.Ĩ. A home death/hospice death is not always a good death.ħ. It’s too real”.ĥ. A hospital death is not always a bad death.Ħ. You may not have a spiritual or meaningful moment.
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“Dying is not like you see on TV or in the movies. You can plan for death, but death does not always comply with our wishes or plans.Ĥ. ġ.No matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never be fully prepared for the loss and the grief.Ģ. If you finish this post and you’re annoyed about all the things we forgot, leave a comment to keep the list going. If it’s in quotes, it is something one of our fabulous readers shared with us on Twitter or Facebook. So, with your help, that is what we have today - a quick and dirty list of the things we wish we had known about grief before we knew anything about grief.
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Not the theory stuff, not the ideas about how to cope - just the really basic things that people never tell you about grief. But there are some days that all seems like a lot to take in. We think about grief a lot around here – we write about types of grief, grief theory, personal reflections, creative expression for coping with grief, practical ideas for managing grief, and on and on and on.
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